Stuck. Frustrated. Anxious. Sad.
The truth is we all feel these emotions from time to time and experience in our bodies the discomfort that comes from them. We can feel sluggish, experience pain, stomach tightness, irritability, and even bring on illness when they linger too long.
The problem is – what to do about it? As we gain awareness of our emotions and their connections to our physical wellbeing there is an overwhelming desire that rises to not stay “stuck!.”
Yes I see the _________ (insert emotion) that I am feeling and understand what it was bringing to my awareness (that I need to rest, or I’m over booked, or a little self-care is needed) but now I want it to GO!. Right?
Well Claire Hayes is the woman I go to for guidance on how to move through negative states and emotions in a way that both feels good AND releases them from my body. Claire’s book on EFT and her programs and sessions that go along with them are nothing short of miraculous. Yes, I just said that. I truly feel her work is miraculous. From shifting decades old trauma to chronic life-style induced anxiety – her work leaves you with solid repeatable practices you can use anytime, anywhere to feel better in the NOW.
Claire’s Shift interview included an exercise you can do right now (that you can check out here) to shift into a higher vibrational more positive state in just a few minutes, and in this guest post she shares more tips on how to drop into the “present” and release what is holding you back.
Don’t stay stuck – there is too much goodness ahead of you just within reach. I invite you…
What does it feel like to be scared or resentful or stuck?
Or even not quite “right”, not really in the flow.
Typically, you will feel it in your head, with all those thoughts and beliefs scurrying around.
You will feel it in your body – as butterflies in your tummy or tight shoulders or a sense of holding your breath…
You may be aware of the emotion. You are completely and utterly feeling frustrated or anxious or “less than”.
But emotion may also be hidden underneath a vague feeling of “not quite right”.
Sometimes, the emotion is hidden underneath what is on top, like thoughts like,
“I want to feel different”
“”this isn’t the way I want it” (could be children or mess or money or anything)
“I can’t cope/I’m not enough/I’m not strong enough”
Or emotion is hidden underneath a behaviour, like repeating self sabotaging actions or losing your momentum.
But the reality is that most of us don’t go through life like we are in a therapy session. We are simply living, and what we are feeling or thinking is our reality! There is no witness…
So whether you are most aware of your body, your thoughts or your emotions, when you are stuck it feels like that is your reality… and it feels really hard to know where to go, because you are not really aware you are there in the first place!
Feeling stuck feels real!
OR, and this can be the case for you if you have done a lot of work on yourself and you know exactly what pattern you are caught in… there can be guilt, or shame or weariness – you know what to do but for whatever reason you can’t do it.
You know about meditation and exercise and gratitude journals and tapping and all those good things which move us on.
And you are still stuck.
So what to do?
For me, becoming Present is the answer. Not just listening to what is going on, but allowing myself to become Present as part of a bigger reality.
That all sounds rather grand, but nothing could be further from the truth.
This Presence Exercise is about using the tools to hand – your body and mind – applying a small amount of focus, and allowing yourself to connect to that which is around you.
When you do this, you give yourself the breathing space you need to become aware.
With awareness comes witnessing and with witnessing comes space.
In that space, compassion arises and you can move on.
It is all very simple but it does require commitment. It asks that you area committed to yourself enough (just enough) to give yourself the gift of focus and attention for a minute or two.
That’s not so bad is it?
Especially when you know (because dear reader, I know you know what I am talking about), that this work is actually not about you but about being your best self so you can be of service in the world.
What is The Presence Exercise?
It is about becoming aware of your body in this moment in time and space. It is about using the breath to connect you to the bigger picture. I use the words Heaven and Earth. It is about allowing yourself to be given to, to receive a gift, a present…
You give to yourself enough to be open to much greater forces. You give your ego a break!
Let’s do it together
(If you prefer to skip straight to an audio version, which you can also download, go here).
Step One: Becoming aware of your body
Whether you are sitting or lying, become aware of where your body is actually physically touching support.
If you are sitting, you will feel your backside and maybe the soles of your feet. If you are lying, you will feel that side of your body which is touching the bed, or floor. Your arms will probably be touching somewhere too, maybe your lap.
This sounds so SIMPLE that it is tempting to skip it.
“Oh yes, I know where my body is”.
I invite you not to skip it, not to rush it. Allow yourself to simply take your attention and focus to where your body is touching those surfaces. There will ALWAYS be places of support – the floor, the ground, a chair, a bed…
Unless you are an astronaut floating in space, you have to feel this!
This is gold dust. This is support and nourishment of the deepest kind.
Let’s find out how…
Step Two: Breathing out and being open to support
In that place of attention, begin to breathe out into those places. Allow yourself the image of beginning to breathe out anything you don’t need or want, sending it down through your body and down through those places you are touching the Earth, and down into the ground.
Use the exhalation to begin the energetic process of letting go of anything you don’t need or want.
Even if you know your issues, I invite you to keep it simple and just allow the process to happen. This is about tapping into bigger forces than yourself, so give yourself the gift of doing less.
As you breathe out, you can add imagery that allows the breath to softly blow through your body. You can imagine the “ickiness” falling to the bottom of every cell of your body then being breathed out.
Imagine you are a baby held in the arms of Mother Earth. You don’t have to do anything but allow that support. Earth gives an energy upwards. Gravity is a force which invites you to rest into it.
This is a truly nourishing place…
Step Three: Breathing in and being open to hope
Now, stretch your arms up and have a little wiggle of your spine, to keep it all flowing.
Stretch your arms to the ends of the Universe and then, having made that connection, let them rest again, but keep your mind above and around you.
As you focus on the inhalation, allow yourself to breathe into all that lovely space you have created in your cells.
As you breathed out the “ick”, space was allowed. Into this space, I invite you to breathe hope, potential and possibility.
As with the exhalation, at this point rather than getting specific, allow the Universe to give you exactly what you need and want, without even needing to know what it is. You are opening to the energy of receiving.
Being given a present, unconditionally.
What a relief!
Step Four: Enjoying being in your human body
So here you are, in your body between Heaven and Earth. If you want, you can send your awareness out around from you, connecting around the planet, being in the human realm.
You are here and now, exactly as you are, receiving support and hope.
Wonderful isn’t it! You have given your ego a holiday!
Listening to the audio
It can be really nice to just listen to a voice (mine!) walking you through this process.
If you want, you can get to the recording and download by going here. www.clairephayes.com/everyday-happiness-worksheets
(You will also get a workbook that goes with my book “Everyday Happiness: EFT Tapping for Self Transformation that Really Works” – but you can ignore that if you want!)
Give yourself this Present
This exercise isn’t rocket science and there are a hundred variations. But this is how I invite more grace and ease into my life and how I work with clients to prepare us for clearing and creation with EFT Tapping. With practice it can be done in one or two breath cycles. Or you can give yourself the present of sinking into it over several minutes.
However you choose to become present, I wish you all the Presence in the world…
Claire P Hayes is a transformational EFT tapping practitioner and author of “Everyday Happiness: EFT Tapping for Self Transformation that Really Works”. You can learn more about her work at